Some People...

Some people find solutions.  I find excuses.

I want to breed dogs that are so large they can take over the world.

The Bible doesn't say you can't have "sex" with another man, it says you can't "lay" with another man.

I understand oral arguments.  I have one with Eva Braun every night at bedtime.

New game show idea:  Top That Tragedy.

What attracted me to Eva was her my-uncle-touched-me voice.

Death feels like you're falling backward forever through space.

I died.  It wasn't so bad.

I'm not afraid of what happened before I was born.  Why should I be afraid of what happens after I'm dead?

I'm not a slave to the clock.  At least not until clocks develop artificial intelligence.

I'm Here To Help...

"I'm here to help you," I lied.

On the positive side, it's fascination to see what will one day enslave our kids.

Maybe our purpose in life is to create the artificial intelligence that will one day replace us.

Dog meat:  tough.
Snake meat:  tougher.
Roasted grasshopper:  crunchy.

Hey, you're wearing a hoodie.  You're looking like a guy who wants to get shot.

Poor old dirt farmer.

It's not that I'm ungrateful, it's just that i show my gratitude by being ungrateful.

Liquid Ice.

I've never understood prostitution.  Why pay for it when I can masturbate for free?

If you had been right, and had wanted to collect on our bet, you would have had to been prepared to come over here and shoot me, because there's no way Id've been handing you over that money.  I would have handed over Eva Braun first.

     thewitandwisdomofadolphhitler.blogspot.com

I'm Just Guessing Here...

I'm just guessing here, but one way to tell if you're on the right track is if your most trusted advisors agree with you.  Mine always do.  Or else!

What's the difference between an expert and a so-called expert?

Do vampire parents have to tell their vampire children not to run with wooden stakes?

If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, try this:  Go to the party dressed as his boss...  and fire him!

I know the world looks at me as an evil, murdering dictator...  but, hey, I could be worse.

I find that you always get your way when you have a gun.

A man once told me that humans and apes are a lot alike.  Well, maybe you are, my friend.  But not I.

As a child, I often had to entertain myself.  Maybe it's better if I say no more than that.

God forgives.  I don't.

Consider the daffodil.  And while you're doing that, I'll be invading your country.


The Wit And Wisdom Of Adolph Hitler  @
     thewitandwisdomofadolphhitler.blogspot.com
          jimduchene.blogspot.com