The secret to being liked by people is to serve them a lot of alcohol. The drunker people get, the more they will like you.
I DEMAND that people like me. That is why I am so beloved by my countrymen.
I enjoy old cowboy movies, but one thing I don't understand is why, when a cowboy is being dragged around by another cowboy on a horse, why doesn't the first cowboy amuse himself by counting the cactus or something.
The reason I still live after so man assassination attempts must be my hat.
Once, my friend and I were lost in the desert. When my friend died, the vultures came down to feast. Was it wrong of me not to let them eat until they had shown me the way out of the desert?
Promises are made to be broken. I think Chamberlain learned that the hard way.
When I drive, I always have a fake skeleton in the seat next to me. That way, when I drive around with a real one, no one believes it.
I once fell asleep inside a hollow log out in the woods. If only my bed were as comfortable.
Can somebody please tell me if Karl Marx and Groucho are related?
I hang a bag of blood just outside my bedroom to keep the mosquitos away.
No comments:
Post a Comment