I can imagine a world without war... a world without hate... and then I can imagine myself conquering that world.
Sometimes I think I'm having a good idea, but then I think it just might be those tiny insect eggs hatching inside my brain.
Whenever I'm listening to Wagner, it's like he's in the room listening with me. That's why I don't like listening to Wagner.
What is it about a beautiful morning that makes me want to kill something?
I have just invented The Death Window. If there is someone I am unhappy with, I just tell them to open the window for me, and then I push them out. I guess that's just like a regular window, except I invented it.
If I lived in the Middle Ages, I would have stabbed an enemy to death with my sword before he had a chance to put on his armor.
If your child ever makes mud pies, make him eat them. Every one.
When I conquer the world, I hope I'm not mean to people... like I am now.
When I found the dead body with the bullet hole in it's head, at first I was going to call the police, but then I remembered it was me who shot him.
I remember once, when I was a boy, I got stung by a swarm of bees. It was the kindly village idiot who sucked all the poison out. He was a good man, for an idiot. Just a terrible judge of where the bees had actually stung me.
No comments:
Post a Comment